​                                POETRY   

"A perfect ode to opposable thumbs."
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Ode to Opposable Thumbs
by Mary Heldman

Gary Larson said it all.

A married couple of cows
Reclining on a sofa,
The Male in shirt and tie
The Female, pearls and harlequin glasses,
Lipstick too.

But wait!
Their land-line phone is ringing, jingling.
The kind with a receiver that must be lifted
But alas, the man and woman bovines just
must sit there,
stunted,
Without opposable thumbs!
And so the phone just keeps jingling, jangling,
While they sit around
watch TV 
. . and mourn.

A perfect ode to opposable thumbs.

With them we can

Brush our teeth
Pound a nail
Hang on to a tail
Crack a nut
Hold a fork
hold a knife

Make a tool
Go to the moon
Pick up the phone,
   and hang it up
Climb a tree,
no need for claws

Tweak a nose
Use a scissors
cut our hair
Pick our fur
Throw a ball
catch a ball
Stab a steak
cut a pear
Hold a bottle.

Shoot a gun. . . 

   Or hold a newborn to our chest.

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​Mary Heldman is retired from a career in medical school administration, computer programming, and business systems analysis. She grew up in Los Angeles, but lived in Palo Alto, Washington D.C., Cambridge, and Stony Brook, New York before settling in San Francisco in 1974. She tutors at a local high school, studies piano, and designs costume jewelry. From time to time she writes sardonic prose for her friends. Mary wishes she lived with a chocolate lab or a golden retriever, but she doesn’t.

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